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Boy meets girl? If only it were always that simple.
Between demanding schedules of work, school, family, and church, it can be difficult to stop and smell the potential roses. So in this 2011 world of “Nice to Tweet you,” many LDS singles are initiating their first encounters in a decidedly digital way.
Here are 20 points—broken up into four categories—that will tell you virtually everything you need to know.
The Pros
1. Where It’s At
Where have all the good men (and women) gone?
“It is becoming increasingly difficult for LDS people to meet a potential spouse once they’re out of college,” says Alisa Snell, a dating coach and marriage and family therapist in Utah. “You’re just not in front of the masses, which translates to fewer opportunities.”
Holly Coleman, 36, can’t argue there.
“You get to the point—especially in my age group—when you feel like you’ve met every eligible person in your circles,” says Coleman, who met her husband on eHarmony and married him in 2011. “Going online opens up possibilities to meet more people.”
2. Professionally Speaking
Need another perk? The type of crowd online dating attracts is typically older and more successful.
“This type of dating usually draws in people of the professional world,” says Snell, who has created a series of dating books and DVDs known as “It’s Not You—It’s Your Technique” (itsyourtechnique.com). Not to mention the online world can give you a buffer in case the relationship fizzles.
“Many men don’t date women in their singles wards just so they can avoid awkward encounters if it doesn’t work out,” Snell says.
3. Girl Power
Have hesitations about approaching men? Online settings can give you that extra boost of confidence.
“I actually think I’m better at online dating,” says Chloe Andersen, 33, a New York City resident who’s been online dating off and on for the last seven years. “When I date online I’m confident, whereas in normal single situations I can get insecure and be reduced to a high school junior. I think it’s the control. I love having a say in who I meet and who I date.”
4. Variety Show
One of the best attributes of online dating is the variety. If one site’s not working for you, try another. Below are just a handful of websites LDS singles commonly log on to.
· ldssingles.com
· eharmony.com
· match.com
· ldsmingle.com
· ldsplanet.com
· singlesaints.com
5. Clicking Couples
Simply said: Online dating can work.
“Some people think online dating is unnatural,” says James Green, general manager of ldssingles.com. “Members of the Church would be surprised at the shocking number of people who have met their spouses [online]. It’s a place where singles can go and meet other singles without pressure from their ward members or families constantly telling them to get married.”
The Profile
1. Picture This
Want to date online but don’t want a picture on your profile? Good luck with that.
“You have to have a photo—it’s your crucial first impression,” says Snell, who met her husband of nine years on ldssingles.com. “No one will contact you if there isn’t a photo.”
When you do post a picture, post a few. And pick shots where you actually look, you know, like yourself.
“The last thing I want to do is meet someone and have them say I don’t look like my picture,” Andersen says.
Oh, and guys? Try not to post pictures where’s it’s obvious you’ve cropped out an ex-girlfriend. “Women will notice it in a second,” Snell says. “And it won’t be in a good way.”
2. Truth Be Told
Exaggerating or misleading people with your profile will get you nowhere. Honest.
“You have to be truthful,” says Andersen, who’s been on sites from eharmony.com to ldsmingle.com to match.com. “I’m not saying you have to tell all your deepest secrets, but you can’t misrepresent yourself.”
What’s more, it’s not good enough to just be honest. You have to be authentic.
“Be yourself,” Coleman says. “If you try to be someone you think other people are looking for, you’re going to have an epic fail on your hands—and fast.”
Maren Timmerman, 30, an LDS single living in California, knows what Coleman is talking about.
“I once met a guy, and the pictures he posted of himself were from fi ve years ago,” Timmerman says. “I thought, ‘If you’re lying about your appearance, what else do you lie about?’”
3. Cast a Spell
Spelling errors are distracting.
“I didn’t realize this at the time I signed up for eHarmony, but I judge men on their spelling,” says Coleman, who now lives in Oregon with her husband. “If I saw a profile with grammar and punctuation problems, I moseyed right along.”
4. The Long and Short of It
You should spend serious time putting together your profile, but it shouldn’t take potential suitors serious time to read it.
“Your profile shouldn’t be longer than three paragraphs,” Snell says. “If it takes too long to get to know you at first glance, people won’t get to know you, period.”
5. Be Refreshing
When your profile isn’t working, get working on it.
“Edit your profile often,” Green says. “If your introduction isn’t sparking someone’s interest, try expressing yourself in another way.”
And if you’ve been online for a while with no real activity, try, try again.
“If you’ve had your profile up for more than six months, close it and start a new one,” Snell says. “People tend to search for who is new to the site.”
The Safety Net
1. Going Public
When you set a time to meet, shout it from the rooftops (but not your identifiable rooftop).
“Meet in a public place, and don’t share addresses with each other,” Snell says. “Tell a few people where you’re going and what time you expect to be home.”
And that phone number you give out? Here’s a wake-up call: “Be sure your telephone number is unlisted so it can’t be tracked to an address,” Snell says. “You can’t be careful enough about this in the beginning.”
2. Name of the Game
When it comes to giving out names, keep it short—as in first names only.
“Someone with sincere intentions won’t have a problem with that,” Snell says. “If a person keeps on pressing you for specific information, that’s a big warning sign.”
3. No Kid-ding Around
If you’re a single parent, keep those kids a mystery (with the exception of their actual existence).
“Your profile will typically say whether or not you have kids, but beyond that, don’t go into details about your children until you’re in an actual relationship,” Snell says. “Also, don’t post pictures of your kids on your profile.”
4. Clean Sweep
If the conversation rapidly turns intimate or inappropriate, nix the contact just as quickly.
“When people want to meet immediately or late at night, that’s a big red flag. Same goes for people who engage in sexual conversations,” Snell says. “No one who wants a real relationship is going to go
down that road.”
Steve Carter, 32, couldn’t agree more.
“We have to be careful,” says the Utah single, who has dated online for the last two years. “There are people out there with bad intentions, and women have to be especially careful about the image they portray. When you have pictures with cleavage or tight clothes, you’re going to attract the wrong kind of attention.”
5. Tried and Trusted
When it comes to online dating (and traditional dating, for that matter), instincts trump all.
“If something doesn’t feel right, trust your gut. It’s more important to be safe than polite,” Green says.
The Common Mistakes
1. Church Talk
While meeting other LDS singles is the goal, talk about more than just religion.
“Be careful not to describe yourself in completely religious terms. There is more to you than just your religion, and it can sometimes come across as judgmental,” Snell says. “Don’t build your whole profile off of how many callings you’ve had or inspirational quotes solely from the scriptures. You want them to know religion is a crucial part of your life, but show them you have other interests as well.”
2. Pressure Cooker
Just because you’re meeting people online who are looking for marriage, don’t start picking out the wedding china.
“A lot of people put too much pressure on these relationships before they’ve even met the person,” Andersen says. “And it creates all kinds of expectations that are impossible to live up to.”
And don’t forget about pressure’s first cousin: perfection.
“Be flexible in your requirements for Mr(s). Right. Perfection doesn’t exist,” Green says. “Realistically, the perfect person for you won’t always fit your initial list of criteria.”
3. Can’t Wait
If you’re both interested in meeting each other, don’t wait out your welcome.
“Meeting online is a great segue, but it can’t take the place of a traditional relationship. I take everything with a grain of salt until I meet someone face to face,” says Carter, who is in a serious relationship with a woman he met online. “It’s too easy to fill in the gaps of what we don’t know with what we’d like the situation to be. We paint this image of the person in our mind, and the longer you wait to meet, the more inaccurate that image will be.”
4. A Hot Mess
As attractive as you might find the person you’re conversing with, be careful not to be too forward about it.
“Whatever you do, don’t ever call a woman hot or sexy,” Snell says. “It’s certainly not going to make them feel safe and secure.”
5. TMI, Folks
It can be tempting to share intimate details of your life when you’re in the comfort of your computer screen, but keep things casual—especially in the beginning.
“Don’t bring up a lot of personal details right off the bat,” Snell says. “Most relationships—whether they begin online or not—don’t last more than four to six weeks. So there’s no need to tell someone the most intimate details of your life when you have no idea if it will go anywhere.”
If you take away nothing else, let it be this: Online dating is no waste of time. It’s all about using the right keys.
“You have to sort through a lot of profiles, and you have to be persistent,” Coleman says. “Don’t get discouraged, which is easy to do. I always say this was the worst experience with the absolute best return on investment.”
If the love of your life isn’t a member of the same Church of Latter-Day Saints (LDS) as you, it can be challenging to find someone with the relationship with Jesus Christ. Online dating sites offer one option, but not all of them are geared toward who you want as a partner. Thankfully, there are LDS dating sites designed to connect Mormon singles for a positive dating experience.
Here, we’ve rounded up the best paid and free LDS dating sites so you can find the one that’s right for you.
The Best LDS Dating Sites
LDS Planet: Best LDS Singles Site for Similar Religious Beliefs
Stars: 3
- Free Sign-Up:LDSPlanet includes sections to fill out on your desktop that help others learn about your relationship with the church and what you do for fun. There is no mobile app.
- Matched on Religion: Unlike other sites, you aren’t matched on anything but religion. This assures you are compatible spiritually. You can select a question for someone to answer if they are interested in chatting with you.
- Reasonable Costs: Subscriptions for this Mormon dating site cost $9 for one month, $36 for three months, and $102 for six months. You’ll get unlimited messaging, search options, and other features that make dating more fun.
Match.com: Best LDS Dating App with a Large Membership
Stars: 3
- Lots of Members: While the vast majority of Match’s 5 million members are not Mormon singles, it’s possible to search for singles with specific religions in their profiles.
- Guaranteed Matches: Paid memberships offer the most ways to connect for dating, but it’s not cheap. One month memberships cost $35.99, although you can pay less per month if you sign up for longer. If you don’t get a great match after six months of online dating, Match will give you an additional six months free.
- Long History of Success: Since Match is one of the oldest online dating sites, it’s been responsible for thousands of marriages. It can work for LDS singles, too.
EliteSingles: Best for Professional LDS Singles
Stars: 3
- Specialized LDS Site: Instead of being one of the niche LDS dating websites, EliteSingles connects professional Mormons with other singles based on your own criteria. This criteria can include the LDS church.
- Educated Membership: 85% of members are highly educated, with the average age being in the mid-40s. This means you can find Mormon singles who are in the same place in life as you, both personally and professionally.
- Quality Over Quantity: EliteSingles only suggests three to seven singles as potential matches a day. Its matching system has resulted in 2,500 singles dating and finding love every month.
LDS Passions: Best Way to Chat for Free
Stars: 3
- Completely Free: LDS Passions is an LDS- only site that is 100% free. This includes unlimited chatting, a message board, and emails for a fun LDS dating experience.
- Part of a Large Group of Niche Dating Sites: This way to meet Mormon singles is part of a large network of niche dating sites. That means all the singles you meet here are looking for the same thing you are.
- Chat Via Webcam: Unlike most other Mormon dating sites, this one has an option for chatting using a webcam built into the platform. You’ll stay safe while connecting with other members.
eHarmony: Best Site for Meaningful Connection
Stars: 3
- Saves Time:eHarmony is one of the only dating sites that does not force you to swipe through scores of profiles. Instead, the site matches you based on the in-depth survey you complete online upon sign up.
- Helps You Better Understand Others: While you will want to make it clear you are looking for fellow LDS singles, you can see how well you match with other singles in “32 dimensions” of compatibility.
- More Expensive Than Other Sites: This is one of the most expensive memberships for an online dating site, at $41.95 a month. Still, the cost can keep away people who aren’t serious about dating and love.
LDS Friends Date: Best Categories to Refine Your Search
Stars: 5
- Plenty of Sub-Categories: Not only is LDS Friends Date a Mormon dating app, it is also a place for discovering friends and people like you. If you are a single parent, one of the many LDS singles over 50 years old, consider yourself a Matchmaker, or want to find someone who is focused on faith, there is a sub-category for you.
- 100% Free: This option provides LDS singles dating, free of cost. Best of all, you can search for people in your geographic region for a great online dating experience.
- Active Membership: Of the thousands of singles on the site, an average 87% log in every day. The site even has a running tally of how many people have logged in that day. You never know who you’ll meet there.
TrueLDS: Best Well-Rounded Mormon Profiles
Stars: 4
- Many Ways To Share Your Personality:TrueLDS is one of the most popular LDS dating sites because it offers robust profile options. Members can upload up to 50 photos, share video and audio clips, and write an extensive bio.
- History of Success: This dating site claims to be responsible for thousands of couples sealed in the temple after a meet up through TrueLDS. However, you’ll need a paid membership to send messages.
- Plenty of Good Advice: Unlike other LDS dating websites, this one has a blog filled with advice for LDS dating, how to stay safe, and how to have a great experience online.
LDS Singles: Best For a Local Dating
Stars: 3
- Mostly LDS Singles Are Members: Although it’s possible for non-Mormons to sign up to the site, the majority of the 80,000 members in the United States are Saints.
- Photo Verification as a Safety Measure: This dating site takes safety seriously. Part of the sign up process includes having the team screen all photos uploaded by members for appropriateness.
- Matches are Only Local: If you’re interested in dating LDS members online and then getting together to meet in real life, this site can help. You’ll only get matches from people in the same geographic area as you.
LDS Single Mingle: Best LDS Singles Mobile Group
Stars: 2
- No Set Up Required: Not technically one of the LDS dating sites, LDS Single Mingle is a Facebook group with thousands of Latter-Day Saints as members. All you have to do is “like” the page, and you’re in.
- Scheduled Events: Although the page is slightly outdated, they have organized in-person events to meet LDS men and women in your community. It’s a good alternative to dating online and worrying whether profiles are even real people.
- Inspirational Messages: LDS singles will appreciate the photos and inspirational memes posted here to share faith with other members online.
LDS Pals: Best Free Online Dating for LDS Singles
Stars: 4
- All Free Features:LDS Pals is totally free to use. Features include being able to see the people online, private and group chatting, and being able to post as many pictures to the site as you’d like.
- Lots of real testimonials: People from all over the United States meet new friends and spouses on the site, according to the pages of testimonials from members.
- Simple sign-up process: It’s straight-forward to set up a profile and begin dating online. You can meet LDS singles in your area in no time.
How to Choose an LDS Dating Site?
Is LDS online dating safe?
Lds Online Dating Sites
Dating online can be safe if you are careful. Even if other singles you match with area LDS members, that doesn’t mean that they may not have your best intentions at heart. Never share personal information or financial information with a stranger. When you meet someone for the first time from one of the LDS dating sites, make sure it’s in a public place. Trust your intuition if something seems too good to be true.
Are there any successful LDS relationships that started online?
Of course! There are plenty of LDS singles who have started dating and sealed their relationship in the temple after meeting online. You’ll have to put your best face forward with a mindfully crafted profile. Use good photos, and be creative and fun when chatting. You’ll find you can meet the person of your dreams through LDS dating online.
Which LDS Dating Site Is For You?
While all of these sites and apps have connected LDS members with love, some are more focused than others. LDS Friends Date is the best because it focuses directly on helping Mormons while providing many features for free. The sub-categories make it easy to find someone you connect with.
Lds Dating Service
LDS Pals and TrueLDS are excellent runners-up worth considering. They also have a history of success and robust profiles to help you on your search for love.
Best Lds Online Dating Sites
Loveflutter.com is the premiere dating website for love and relationships. We help you find and date local singles in your area.